


FISH

by Destinys_Chalice



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Bullying, Gen, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Destruction, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-11
Updated: 2013-08-10
Packaged: 2017-12-23 02:19:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/920824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destinys_Chalice/pseuds/Destinys_Chalice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I would just like to start off by stating that the following events are completely and utterly true, written down in as much detail as I can remember. Of course I have changed the names of all the people involved, including my own. But I just want to say that this is my life. Or it was. I thought it was about time everybody knew the truth. This is the tale of my bullying, my battle with self-harm and the difficult journey that almost killed me, thanks to one word. Let me tell you my story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	FISH

It all started within my first week of Year 7. I was in a completely new environment and I didn't know anybody, not one person from my primary school had come to my secondary school. So naturally I was as timid and shy as a mouse.  
I was in Maths, bored out of my mind and my thigh was itching up a storm from where I had been bitten by some bloody insect the day before. Sleeping in a vest top and underwear is never a good idea.  
Anyway there I was trying desperately to satisfy my itch by scratching through my skirt and tights, to no avail. Wearing crappy nylon school tights didn't do me any favours either.  
Ten minutes passed and I was about ready to hunt down any living insect and murder it. When it finally got too much I reached down my tights and carefully satisfied my itch. That's where it all started to go wrong.

After the bell rang for lunch and we were all standing behind our desks waiting to be dismissed, I saw the girl who had been sitting next to me walk over to her friends and whisper to them. As she did this they kept glancing over at me, then a look of pure disgust came over their faces. Then they started laughing. The teacher silenced them with a quick “You won't be going until you are silent!”  
once he had let us go I walked outside and saw the girls that had been supposedly laughing at me previously now whispering to a bunch of other people.  
I walked alone to the library, I didn't have any friends yet. While I was sat reading one of my favourite books in my favourite spot by the window I began to wonder what on earth they had been laughing at? I assumed it was me but what had I done?  
When I looked out of the window to the ground below I saw a group of boys walk by, amongst those boys I noticed a familiar head of golden brown hair.  
It was the boy I had a crush on. I know that it was only my first week at my new school but on the first day, when I saw him, I don't know what happened really, but I instantly fell for him. His name (Or fake name for privacy reasons) was Dan Taylor, and he was in that group, you know, the kind of middle-class popular's.  
Along with perfect hair he also had deep, brown eyes, I'd only glanced at him on occasion, but from what I could see, they were beautiful. Every aspect of him seemed to glow and scream perfect.  
As I watched him and his friends walk away down the path I sighed to myself. I was too scared to talk to him. I was such a wimp.

Now we skip ahead by a few weeks where I guess you could say it truly started.  
Since where we left off I had made a friend. Lets call her Stella.  
We met at “Peer Mentoring” which is basically a little psychology group where year 10's are assigned to any year 7's that the school think need a friend or are lonely. Stella's peer mentor was never in school for some reason or another, so she ended up sharing mine. These “little talks” were incredibly awkward (And I'm socially awkward at the best of times) and would happen every Wednesday during morning tutor, and seeing as me and Stella are in the same tutor and we had the same Peer Mentor, we just kind of bonded. She's one of those “Goth” types, she loves the colour black and likes a lot of death metal and rock.

The main event of the “day where you could say it all began” happened when we were on the school field, sitting under a tree, eating our lunch. Apart from a group of popular girls (Some of whom I recognized as the ones who had been laughing at me weeks prior), some year 10's & 11's, and a small crowd of boys throwing pine-cones at each other, we were the only ones on the field.  
We were minding our own business, talking about Harry Potter I think, when out of nowhere the leader of the group of girls, (I'll call her Hannah) came marching over to us, laughing over her shoulder to her friends who were slowly following her, as if they desired neither to talk to us of be near us, but egging her on all the same. When she reached us she stood where we were sitting, looking down on us and blocking the rare view of sunlight in the British sky.  
She looked upon me. “Is it true?” She tried to demand, but was let down my the spluttering of laughter that echoed her sentence.  
“Is what true?” I asked, genuinely confused.  
She gave me a sneer and what you may describe as a slightly malicious chuckle.  
“Is it true that you fingered yourself in maths?”  
I was aghast.  
“What?! No of course not!” I replied, probably with an incredulous look on my face.  
What on earth had given her that idea?!  
“Don't lie, Sarah saw you.” She said pointing over to the girl who sat next to me in maths.  
This would be a good opportunity to tell you a little bit more about me.  
I am an incredibly shy person. I have bad social anxiety, I have difficulty talking to new people, especially in confrontational situations, I hate conflict and I have an inability to stand up for myself. I think its the fear of messing up what I'm trying to say and looking stupid. I never know what to say in conflict like situations.  
But there I was in a situation that seemed to demand conflict and as I had expected my mind drew a blank. I knew I had done know such thing, but how was I supposed to convey this to someone like Hannah? I considered telling her what had really happened but I assumed that any attempt at telling a story different to the one that they had made up in their minds would only further fuel their belief that I was lying. I sat there trying desperately to pick the right words, all the while Hannah was stood there, with a smug smile on her face, looking down on me like I was some kind of lesser being, like she was the predator, and I her prey.


End file.
